Many couples who can’t seem to get along often stay together for the simple fact that they have children together. But, is this really the best thing to do? Most couples who aren’t happy together often argue and bicker, exposing their children to a negative and potentially unhealthy environment. So, while you might be under the impression that staying with your spouse whom you are no longer happy with is best for your children, you might want to consider the following circumstances before making this assumption.
1. “As our children grow older, they tend to replicate relationships similar to what their parents modeled,” says psychotherapist and marriage counselor, Mel Schwartz, L.C.S.W. [Source: Psychology Today]. If you are going through a challenging marriage and continue to endure the pain it brings on, there is a greater chance that your child will experience the same things in their own relationships. Parents serve as role models for their kids and while you wouldn’t say you want your kids to remain in a relationship that makes them unhappy and causes them to live in an unhealthy environment, there is an increased chance they will seeing that they learned from your behavior in the past.
2. If you wait to file for divorce until your children go off to college, it may “make the kids feel guilty that their parents sacrificed their own happiness for them.” In some instances, parents might be more concerned with financial instability or being alone than their concern for their children being moved out before they file.
3. “Divorce isn’t failure, but living in unhappiness is.” If you and your spouse have tried everything from counseling to couple’s therapy and you have yet to resolve your issues, staying together might be giving off a different message than the one you want. While you might want to show your kids that you can work through your differences and live in a supportive and loving atmosphere, is this the message you are sending by staying in a committed relationship that involves more arguing and disagreements than love and affection?
Although divorce is a major life transformation and tends to have an effect on the children that are involved, sometimes, you have to consider your own circumstances before saying you’re going to “stick it out for the sake of your kids.”
If you aren’t sure that divorce is right for you, consider meeting with a therapist or discussing your matter with an East Lansing divorce attorney who can help clear up any uncertainties that you might have. Lansing, Michigan divorce lawyer, Stuart R. Shafer, has helped numerous clients understand the many aspects of divorce as well as the pros and cons that generally come along with the filing process. If you would like to get a consultation scheduled with our firm so that you can discuss your own family matter, call us now at 517-487-6603 to do so. The Law Offices of Stuart R. Shafer, P.C. provides legal assistance to those residing in Lansing, East Lansing, Okemos, DeWitt, St. Johns, Grand Ledge, and Charlotte, Michigan.
