Even in the best situations, divorce is painful and difficult, but it can still end up strengthening ties between children and parents. In the worst situations, divorce tears families apart and damages the children’s relationships with both parents. With stakes this high, it’s important to approach the experience mindfully, with your children’s best interests at heart.
Doing so not only limits the pressure on your children but also helps you heal by keeping your energy focused on construction rather than destruction. After all, the more time that you devote to helping your children, the less time you have to dwell on the past or the current divorce process.
If you’re planning a divorce and you have children, call us. At the Law Offices of Stuart R. Shafer, P.C., we specialize in family law, so you can count on us to help you through your divorce, whether it involves child custody, alimony or child support.
If you would like to speak with a Lansing family lawyer from our firm, call us today at 517-487-6603.
1. Never Put More Pressure On Your Child
The Atlantic reports that a recent study regarding children yielded encouraging results. Researchers claim that the children of parents who stayed together for them had more difficulty later in life than children whose parents divorced. The takeaway here is that divorce can sometimes benefit a child, which runs contrary to popular belief.
However, that is never something that you would want to say to your child. Telling your children that your divorce will preserve their psychological health is the same as placing the blame on them in their eyes.
Be mindful what you say about your reasons for divorce, and always attempt to put it into a phrase that avoids placing blame altogether.
2. Do Remain Consistent With Your Parenting Methods
Many parents make the mistake of overcompensating when their children are coping with the divorce. Taking them out to eat or to see a movie is fine, but don’t go overboard. Avoid showering them with gifts or letting them stay up later than usual.
Although it may seem like the best course of action, children respond the most positively to stability, which is why they struggle so much with divorce. Changing their routine, or your parenting style, is about the worst way to help them cope. Instead, make time to sit down with them, discuss their concerns and reassure them that many areas of their lives will remain the same.
3. Don’t Burden Your Child With The Adult Side Of Divorce
If your children are teenagers, or very mature for their ages, you may feel tempted to share all the details with them. Resist that urge, because telling them about your feelings for your ex-spouse may affect the way they view you. Instead, show them how an adult handles hardship, so that they will weather it better when they reach adulthood.
At the Law Offices of Stuart R. Shafer, P.C., we have more than 36 years of experience helping our clients work through their divorces, so you can trust us to offer you advice based in real-world practice. To speak with a family lawyer about your divorce, call us today at 517-487-6603.